Innately Non-Monogamous?
Over the past week or so, I’ve been considering the idea that some people may be innately monogamous or innately non-monogamous. That is to say, there are people who, even if they had the discussion...
View ArticleRelationships: Fight or Flight
A few weeks ago my Daddy and I had a big fight; trust was broken, horrible things were said, and several times I felt I was right on the brink of losing him altogether. The key part of that sentence is...
View ArticleDoes Non-Monogamy Make You Happy?
Friday morning at five o’clock I found myself on a long coach journey, headed North for the wedding of one of my oldest friends. We met at ten, disliked one another at fourteen, fucked each other at...
View ArticleJealousy In Flux
If you have been reading my Life on the Swingset blog – The Novice Non-Monogamist – since the beginning, you might remember, way back at the start of the year, I wrote a piece about jealousy, about my...
View ArticleA Question Of Love Vs. Sex
A few weeks ago I wrote about attending a wedding where I spent time with old friends and was happy to find that my fairly new, non-monogamous love life was met with interest and support, rather than...
View ArticleAlchemising Jealousy: Too Much Information?
My core relationship is with someone who, like me, is still navigating the ins and outs of non-monogamy. Neither of us are seasoned in this, and although we’d both played around with it in the past,...
View ArticleEgo-Centric Sexuality
Last week, in the style of the wonderful Cunning Minx, I wrote myself a User Manual. The basic idea of the user manual is that you write about your emotional and sexual turn ons, your turn offs, your...
View ArticleI’m So Meta Even This Acronym – On Communication
My concerns each week, my considerations and interests, change. The one thing that remains constant – although it too evolves – is my desire to write these concerns and considerations. Perhaps there...
View ArticleNon-Monogamy Is Not All Of Me
Twice this week it has been implied, by people whose opinion I greatly respect, that my being non-monogamous sets me apart; that most people aren’t like me; and, perhaps most poignantly, that...
View ArticleCompartments And Non-Monogamy Are Not The Happiest Of Bedfellows.
I think I have written here before about the lack of communication in my family; about the ways in which we live alongside one another but tell each other very little. In our household there is a sense...
View ArticleNo Time for Love, No Time for Difficulty
One week into (should-be-part-time-but-is-actually) full-time employment and, as predicted, I have no time to spare. I miss Daddy, I miss my friends, I miss my lovers, I miss new dates, I miss reading...
View ArticleWord Counting Non-Monogamy
This column is going to be difficult to write. I can feel it in my body, in my simultaneously frantic and vacuous mind. Shall we count words? This is thirty. I could draw some brilliant parallel...
View ArticleReflections on Compartmentalised Non-Monogamy
A few weeks ago, I wrote about compartmentalising; about how I (almost innately) keep certain aspects of my life very separate, and how frustrating I find this when it comes to balance and fulfillment....
View ArticleThe Non-Monogamy To Do List
As anyone who knows me even moderately well can tell you, I have a thing for lists. I have a list for work, a list for writing, a list for housework, a list for all the bits and pieces that keep...
View ArticleTres Chic, Polyamory
I think it was on that fateful Sunday when I came out to my Dad as non-monogamous that the idea of non-monogamy as something chic, cool, “up-and-coming” really cemented itself in my mind. If you read...
View ArticleFor Molly: Unconventional Threesome Dynamics
Being, as I am, not a fully fledged unicorn, I decided – in a rather lighthearted moment – that I am actually a ‘fawn’. That is to say, if the ideal unicorn is young, willing, bisexual, and female, I...
View ArticleThe Happy/Heartache Balance
Having returned from Atlanta just over a week ago, I have found myself in various states of overwhelmed emotion. There has been tearfulness and laughter, joy and pain, contemplation and kink. I have...
View ArticleJealousy and Compersion
Well folks, it’s that time again. That’s right – let’s talk about jealousy. And I’m not even going to complain about it! No, let’s do that slightly more productive yet equally annoying thing of...
View ArticleBusy Poly Life: Mister Time, This is Harper
So I’m working this (pretty-much) full-time job; and I’m doing my Bachelor of Arts degree in English literature; and I’m running two podcasts; and I have a weekly column; and I’m doing freelance...
View ArticleTwelve Months, Three Deviants, One Threesome
Saturday 23rd November and Molly, Michael, and I are setting the table for Thanksgiving dinner with thirteen guests. Yes, I am aware that we are five days early and, if my calculations are correct, I...
View ArticleMe Time Well Spent
Well, what can I say: I’m really happy. It is Advent. It is the first of December. I have a bag full of Christmas decorations (on which I spent far too much money) downstairs. I have been truly,...
View ArticleThe Little Life of Others: Secondaries and Thirds in Non-Monogamy
Being a third is hard. Being a secondary partner is hard. I think that for the most part I have come to terms with this, and it’s certainly easier now, with a touch of experience, than it was nine...
View ArticleComing Out as Non-Monogamous; again and again and again and again
So I’m sick, of course. Last night was my final seminar at university, and as I left I could feel the coldy fog descending. Sometimes I really wish my body wasn’t quite so all-knowing. It can feel me...
View ArticleThe Polyamorous Mediator
Well here I am again, ready to stir up trouble where previously there was peace. Because no one wants to hear me bitch about how busy I am (again) and I think a column in which, week after week, I...
View ArticleOnce More, With Feeling: Secondaries and Thirds in Non-Monogamy
A couple of weeks ago I wrote about the difficulties of being a third and a secondary partner; or more precisely I set out to write about it, and then entirely chickened out. What I ended up posting...
View ArticleDon’t Ask, Don’t Tell: What Makes Non-Monogamy Ethical?
A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post called The Polyamorous Mediator, in which I mentioned that D and his wife have a “don’t-ask, don’t-tell policy” when it comes to extra-marital partners, and I...
View ArticleSubverting the Status Quo: Non-Monogamy in the Arts
Last year at Eroticon 2013, in London, there was an excellent session called Polyamory 101. In amongst talk of personal schedule organisation and pieces of true storytelling from the presenters, a...
View ArticleThe Permission of Polyamory
Eighteen months ago I was a single twenty-nothing (or thereabouts) in London town, free as a bird and dating a string of wildly inappropriate men – including a guy who seemed to think he was living in...
View ArticleThe Crush: (Not) Daydreaming of Relationships Future
2.24pm, Wednesday 22nd January Oh, I had forgotten what it felt like to have a crush. The daydreams, the wistfulness, the magic, the near-blindness of it. Wondering if he meant to brush his knee...
View ArticleAwesome Spoon: Developing the Non-Monogamy Dictionary
Looking back on it, I believe I may have been a teenager right at the tipping point of meme-culture. We absolutely were a generation living from reference to reference. Chuck Norris jokes were our...
View ArticleRelationships Roles: Setting the Balls Rolling
I believe that people come to non-monogamy, or are non- […]The post Relationships Roles: Setting the Balls Rolling appeared first on Life on the Swingset.
View ArticleNon-Monogamy: Instinct vs. Rules
Over the past couple of years – maybe a little lo […]The post Non-Monogamy: Instinct vs. Rules appeared first on Life on the Swingset.
View ArticleNon-Monogamous Question Time
Remember way back in the late Summer when every other p […]The post Non-Monogamous Question Time appeared first on Life on the Swingset.
View ArticleA Year as the Novice Non-Monogamist
Once upon a time, fifty-two mini-articles about non-mon […]The post A Year as the Novice Non-Monogamist appeared first on Life on the Swingset.
View ArticleRussian Dolls and Non-Monogamous Boyfriends
When your friends tell you you need a boyfriend, you mi […] The post Russian Dolls and Non-Monogamous Boyfriends appeared first on Life on the Swingset.
View ArticleCommunication and Consideration
Like many of you, I am a great believer in the power of […] The post Communication and Consideration appeared first on Life on the Swingset.
View ArticleThe Polyamory Kink Intersection
Do you remember, way back when, in the mists of last Se […] The post The Polyamory Kink Intersection appeared first on Life on the Swingset.
View ArticleNon-Monogamy and the 21st Century
In many ways, the technology we have in the 21st centur […] The post Non-Monogamy and the 21st Century appeared first on Life on the Swingset.
View ArticleIn Which Interest Slays Jealousy (and I grow curious about my metamours)
I have of late, but wherefore I know not, become rather […] The post In Which Interest Slays Jealousy (and I grow curious about my metamours) appeared first on Life on the Swingset.
View ArticleShutting Down the Non-Monogamy
Just over a year ago – in fact, to be precise, 40 […] The post Shutting Down the Non-Monogamy appeared first on Life on the Swingset.
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